Late Show Top Ten Lists
August 8, 1997
Top Ten Things Overheard at the Garth Brooks Concert in Central Park
10. Check it out -- line-dancing crack dealers.
9. I think Billy Ray Cyrus just asked me for change.
8. Isn't that Mayor Guiliani dressed up like Minnie Pearl?
7. Call the paramedics -- Al Sharpton just started stage diving.
6. If you're not a cowgirl, what's the lasso for?
5. The entire Central Park reservoir is filled with Jack Daniels.
4. That's not rain. It's tobacco spit!
3. We're so far from the stage -- how's Garth gonna see me giving him the finger?
2. My god, Frank Gifford's making out with a rodeo clown!
1. Run for your lives! It's the late Conway Twitty!
September 24, 1997
Top Ten Things Overheard at the Country Music Awards
10. Your wife stole your dog and pickup truck? Hey, me too!
9. You can let go of your wallet, Garth. You're not in Central Park anymore.
8. That was some damn fine yodelling, Mr. Letterman.
7. George Strait? That's not what I hear...
6. Eww -- Willie Nelson's washing his hair in the punch bowl.
5. And the Lifetime Achievement Award goes to: Kenny Rogers' beard.
4. Look out! Cow in the mosh pit!
3. Call security -- Jerry Lee Lewis just proposed to Leann Rimes.
2. That's not Brooks & Dunn, that's Dolly Parton!
1. I've gotta take a grand ole leak.
September 28, 1999
Top Ten Signs Garth Brooks Is Nuts
10. Hands you cigar and proudly says, "My cowboy hat's pregnant!"
9. Is seriously considering operation that will make him the fourth Judd
8. Earlier today, endorsed Dan Quayle
7. Just released a collection of love songs about James Brolin
6. Spends hours alone in bedroom "Ropin' the wind"
5. New album just 40 minutes of old answering machine messages
4. Speeds up all vocal tracks to "sound more like them adorable chipmunks"
3. Trashes hotel room -- cleans up and vacuums hotel room -- leaves himself generous housekeeping tip
2. Phones Kenny Rogers late at night and whispers "I'm holding them"
1. Has all his money on the Mets
No wonder Garth only goes on Leno.
ta gotta admit though...that last list was kinda funny