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MDgarthgirl
01-02-2001, 10:45 AM
I wrote this one last night and went back and forth through it trying to figure out if that question had an answer. For some reason, I thought something was lacking in the story. Could you tell me what you think?
<br>
<br>When Not To Let Go
<br>© 2001 Stephanie Shade
<br>
<br>It's the first time in a long time
<br>you've caught me off guard
<br>Claiming that there's nothing left
<br>we've grown too far apart
<br>You find yourself saying everything
<br>you thought you never would
<br>But, somehow, your words aren't hitting me
<br>as hard as they should
<br>
<br>You're struggling with every breath
<br>to make this final stand
<br>What you say and what you feel
<br>aren't walking hand in hand
<br>Cuz I can see the tears behind your eyes
<br>as you recite your lines to me
<br>So what's making you afraid to say
<br>you don't really want to leave?
<br>
<br>Donít get swept away
<br>by water under the bridge
<br>Hold on to my heart
<br>Let the memories pull you in
<br>Youíve taught me to forget
<br>things that weigh down my soul
<br>But do you know, baby,
<br>when not to let go?
<br>
<br>What happened to the man
<br>that knows what love is
<br>who could fly me to heaven
<br>on the strength of his kiss?
<br>Youíre lost inside the troubles
<br>of this unforgiving world
<br>Tell me how I can save
<br>the only one for this girl
<br>
<br>Donít get swept away
<br>by the water under the bridge
<br>Just hold on to my heart
<br>Let the memories pull you in
<br>Youíve taught me to forget
<br>things that weigh down my soul
<br>But do you know, baby,
<br>when not to let go?
<br>
<br>"Thanks for your time",
<br>Nash<P>(This message has been edited by MDgarthgirl)N

PCL
01-02-2001, 01:09 PM
If he has to rely on memories, in order to find strength to hold on, maybe he shouldn't hold on. Just my opinion.
<br>
<br>Scott Roth
<br>
<br>ps. add a bride or a last verse, i think the song just needs some closure.N

Pilgrim
01-02-2001, 01:26 PM
I really like that song nash:)
<br>
<br>Very very cool:):)
<br>
<br>I can't say what to change about it if you want to change somewthing:eek:
<br>
<br>I don't dare to touch the masters work:)
<br>
<br>BrianN

major tom
01-02-2001, 05:35 PM
Great song. :) I agree with Scott though it does seem to end prematurely, before the story is finished.
<br>
<br>KirstyN

MDgarthgirl
01-06-2001, 01:34 PM
(Wow, surprised I got into the forums before they were supposed to be back up.)
<br>
<br>Thanks for the replies Scott, Brian, and Kirsty.
<br>
<br>I'll keep working on it. Please have it stricken from your memory. ;) In the mean time, I may be able to come back with something else that's complete.
<br>
<br>NashN