attempt number two

[rightnow777]

thanks to the four who wrote about my first song but it didn't get the kind of response i wanted so lets try again so if you please " give me everything you got alright
<br>
<br> HERE WE GO.
<br>
<br> But I'm not
<br>
<br>I thought my heart would stop today
<br>i couldn't think of anything to say '
<br>when you told me, i'm over you.
<br>and i wanna find somebody new.
<br>
<br>(chorus) you said our love would never die
<br>you would never tell me good bye
<br>you said I'm over you, But I'm not
<br>
<br>you packed your bags early today
<br>you said maybe I'll see you again someday
<br>and walked out the door
<br>and said nothing more except I'm over you, But I'm not
<br>(back to chorus)
<br>
<br>can some one help me rewrite this I know this is not one of the best songs you ever saw but maybe one of you will help me
<br>
<br> thanks,
<br> Shelley
<br>
<br>
<br>N

[littlebit]

Shelly,
<br>
<br>When i read your song, i immediatly could hear someone singing it. i think it's fine like it is except for maybe a couple of more verses. Keep goin girl, i think it's a good song. I don't think your done yet!:):):)
<br>
<br>keep 'em comin'
<br>
<br>deAnnalynnN

[rightnow777]

littlebit,
<br>thanks for the support maybe I'll write new verses and I'll try it again. um hey, you said that when you started reading it that you immediatly saw someone singing it. are we talking like a big country artist or what,
<br>
<br> love,
<br> me N