United Spirits

[Hawk7lte]

Here is a poem/song I wrote over three years ago; after a visit to Colorado. What do you all think? - I just came across it in my computer journal/notes.
<br>
<br>
<br>United Spirits
<br>
<br>In the Garden of the Gods,
<br>she pauses caught by awe.
<br>Separate path, though not all alone.
<br>Above, he sits silent on redstone
<br>
<br>Each view a flight,
<br>witness wild loves' sight.
<br>Graceful chase,
<br>floating embrace.
<br>
<br>Eagles soar high,
<br>whistles circle skies,
<br>mates' cries ringing,
<br>winds carry glorious singing.
<br>
<br>"Sleeping Giant" winks, nods consent.
<br>Lovers' eyes will now convince.
<br>His and her glances merge,
<br>naked images mentally surge.
<br>
<br>Hunger roars as thunder.
<br>Primitive urges, wonder.
<br>Passion ignites raging fire,
<br>lights consuming desire.
<br>
<br>Spirits recognized.
<br>Lost love reconciled.
<br>Many years seeking,
<br>finally, perhaps a meeting.
<br>
<br>Souls converging,
<br>memories merging,
<br>bodies crave completion,
<br>fantasy demands satiation.
<br>
<br>Freedom with each other,
<br>only distance to safely cover.
<br>Will she leave her path,
<br>or he, his stone.
<br>One must choose
<br>to move;
<br>continue together or alone.
<br>
<br>Now, please tell me friend;
<br>was that another beginning,
<br>or just another end?
<br>
<br>M.M.Ghrist
<br>Copyright November,1997
<br>
<br>"eagles soar high" would be the bridge....
<br>
<br>Hawk
<br><P>(This message has been edited by Hawk7lte)N

[Snow]

Aw.... Hawk. How do you do that?!
<br>
<br>So many layers... intertwining images.
<br>
<br>At first reading all I saw was beautiful flowing words and images. Then I went back and saw more.
<br>
<br>A lost love... A found love... will they take the chance? Will they have the courage to break out of their paths?
<br>
<br>All that naked erotic imagery... how could they not? How could they deny anything that compelling?
<br>
<br>How many of us have had that experience? When you've unexpectantly run across an old love and in that briefest of seconds when your eyes meet... all that was... and all that might have been... might be.... or might never be passes between you just with that one look.
<br>
<br>You caught that... or at least that is what you conveyed to me.
<br>
<br>Thank you for sharing it Hawk. :)N

[MissScarlett]

Oh My Hawk! That was absolutely wonderful. I don't see how you do that either. The words flowed so beautifully. My favorite verse was:
<br>
<br>Souls converging,
<br>memories merging,
<br>bodies crave completion,
<br>fantasy demands satiation.
<br>
<br>
<br>If you haven't published any poetry yet, you should! That was great.
<br>
<br>MargaretN

[loreli]

As usual, Hawk that was amazing. :)
<br>
<br>How many people experience that one love, that's everything? Heart, soul and body?
<br>
<br>If you recognize the other half of yourself, how could they not take that chance? Take perhaps, the least comfortable way and risk it all.
<br>
<br>LoriN

[fuzzwuzz]

Hawk, you captured the desire of my heart so perfectly. Or my fantasy, if you will! Yes, it's a fantasy that is a dream come true! And finally realized! There is indeed passion in the fire, but we are together and safe at last. It was worth the wait. I've made my choice. It's only just beginning!
<br> Thanks for leading me over to this musician's forum. Great place!N

[Hawk7lte]

:):):):):):):)
<br>
<br>You Guys - GOT IT! What more could I ask or want. The song attempts to capture and celebrate that moment when we recognize that we have all we really ever needed - love, wonderment; along with that feeling of "Soul Mates". Your responses please me so. YOU GOT IT.
<br>
<br>Snow - to describe the pure pleasure your words convey; warm peacefulness - pleasurable serenity Oh - and the word..flowing...exactly what I want to achieve.
<br>
<br>Margaret - I am published; as a scientist - as a poet - and as a writer of short stories - now if I just knew how to make a living from it(LOL)Glad you were pleased with that verse - I may change one word in it.
<br>
<br>Lori - "take even the least comfortable path - risk it all" for something like that....yep, wouldn't we all.
<br>
<br>Fuzzwuzz - "Together and safe at last" What joyful news. Congratulations, you have found a true treasure.
<br>
<br>Thanks for accepting my invitation. Personally I think sometimes I need to throw away some of the bigger words - lose some meaning for simplicity - have to think on this.
<br>
<br>Thanks for responding - I do accept constructive criticism too. (okay - not as happily though):)
<br>
<br>HawkN

[MissScarlett]

Hawk,
<br>
<br>I thought you'd been published before! :) I have too, but like you I'm wishing I could make a living on it. There's nothing like doing something you love to do, and being able to put food on the table at the same time.
<br>
<br>You must have really been pleased with the responses because you used smilies in your post, and I don't think I've ever seen you do that! lol
<br>
<br>MargaretN

[GRTH FAN]

Now that my computer is working again, I had to tell you that That Poem/Song gives me Gooosebumps!! You have a great talent that you have been hiding for 3 years Hawk, so don't hide it anymore!
<br>Donna :)N

[Pilgrim]

Hawk!
<br>
<br>I can only agree with what the others have said:):):)
<br>
<br>I think it is excellent:):):):)
<br>
<br>PLEASE post some more of your poems/songs:)
<br>
<br>Brian:)N

[major tom]

Wow Hawk :) That is a truly impressive poem/song :) The images are beautiful :)
<br>
<br>"Hunger roars as thunder" <---- love that phrase :)
<br>
<br>KirstyN

[fuzzwuzz]

Hawk, not only have I found true treasure, it was more than worth the risk in losing it all to get it. You have not merely captured my thoughts, but a place in my heart, where your words know fulfillment of them. If you can do that, then why use bigger words?N

[Hawk7lte]

WOW - you guys - applause is addictive ah think - I can understand even more why Garth loves ya' all so.
<br>
<br>Ok - only thing I'll change at this point is the order of the verses; build to the climax and taper off gently with the "afterplay" so to speak. Interchange "Souls converging" verse first - then "Spirits recognized" verse.
<br>
<br>Fuzzwuzz - think I should get Gaines to read this at my first poetry/prose reading?(Yealh right - like that kinda' luck happens in MY life....hehe)
<br>
<br>And its dawned on me that some of you didn't read/don't remember some of the other verses I've posted so I've got all this material left which is as good as new. I even have the ones I wrote when he was playing baseball this spring - (I liked the "baby bunting" and the sportsman one)
<br>
<br>Boy are you guys good for the creative spirit.
<br>Thanks again,
<br>Hawk N

[fuzzwuzz]

Are you kidding? This is right up Chris' alley! I've always said Chris gives Garth the best writers!N

[fuzzwuzz]

How about switching the two verses under those instead? 'Lost love reconciled' with 'memories merging'?
<br> And by the way, Garth loves you too, and so do we!N

[Hawk7lte]

Fuzzwuzz -
<br>
<br>Reorder those lines?
<br>What would I lose - only the rhyme.
<br>What would I gain - not even time.
<br>Inertia - that adversary of humankind.
<br>
<br>Regarding that last sentence of yours - I'd like it in writing please, signed by all including Garth, and notarized.
<br>
<br>LOL :)
<br>Hawk
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<br>
<br>
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<br>N

[fuzzwuzz]

You've got it in writing, right here on the forums, and in Garth's music. The only way to make it official is to let them leave their mark on your heart!N

[RckyMtnGirl@hrt]

Hawk,
<br>
<br>I have been to this place. You have caught the spritual
<br>and emotional essance of it so very well :)
<br>
<br>CC
<br>
<br>N

[littlebit]

Hawk,
<br>
<br>You make words soar like an eagle that flies by Grandfather Sun. :):):):):):):):cool:
<br>
<br>deAnnalynnN

[Hawk7lte]

CC,
<br>
<br>Thank you for saying that, 'tis a beautiful place.
<br>
<br>Littlebit -
<br>
<br>Your words, coming from you especially - please. The people's children were there that day too, a whole bus load at the circle in the center of the cliffs. So beautiful, creating a lasting memory.
<br>
<br>HawkN