View Full Version : A weird article

09-23-1999, 07:18 AM
<B>PGers</B>,<P>Look what I found in CANOE Canada! Obviously the writer is making fun of Garth. <P>[quote]<BR>Tough to stay awake for the (yawn) CMAs<BR>By FISH GRIWKOWSKY<BR>Express Writer<BR> Well, as always, it's September and HERE COME THE CMA AWARDS! YEAH! RIGHT ON! <P> OK, I'm just acting excited because, if you hadn't noticed, almost no one seemed to give a damn about winning anything at the show. Country class or just plain tired of being alive? Who's to say, really. But, also as always, Vince Gill did a great job with his deadpan humour, Shania looked more than a little hot in skin-tight clothing and Brooks and Dunn managed to not fall asleep while winning their, what, 63rd Best Duo Award for best duo? <P> Award. Wait, that sounded dumb. <P> Anyway, without further rustling of our boots and saddles, here's Sun Country's own take on the industry made manifest for 1999. <P> BIGGEST ACID TRIP: The Dixie Chicks in Wonderland, in the opening number. Little girls swinging in circles, women in skirts flying through the air and that least funky of white movement, step dancing. Still, they're cute, talented and silly, and country always needs that. It's clearly what Hank Williams had in mind when he drank himself to death. Well, maybe not, but who's gonna listen to a raggedy guy like that in Nashville these days, anyway? <P> BEST FLUBBED-UP WORD: "Nominigated," by Vince Gill. Look for the single this Christmas. Or don't. Yeah, don't. <P> BIGGEST SURPRISE: Newcomers Brooks and Dunn taking the duo award. Wait, I already made a joke about that, and so did Gill, for that matter. Maybe this isn't funny at all. I mean, for EIGHT YEARS now, Brooks and Dunn have waded on stage. Ronnie Dunn didn't even blink when the prize was announced, but neither did Merle Haggard, mostly because he was asleep. Can you blame the guy? I mean, he's been in jail. Compared to that, this is Disneyland. <P> BEST COMMERCIAL: Seeing as they took up a full third of the show, we always like to honour the corporate sponsors. It was a tough call this year. AC Delco really came forward, and Honey Buns, well, need I say more? <P> And that chick from Desperado wiggled around in front of Shania's Revlon ad. But the talker was clearly the Judds singing their country blues to the jolly antics of a bunch of Kmart models. Still, there's a special place for Cat Country in my heart. <P> THE TIM McGRAW AWARD: Um, Tim McGraw would have to take that one. He did a great job being Tim McGraw. Notice the way he never smiles and sings in front of a giant picture of his wife, also winning the less prestigeous "Male Vocalist" trophy. That Tim McGraw always wins! <P> BEST USE OF PINK: OK, like they're ever going to get dates again, but Shania's short-man band looked thimply thpectacular! It was a hot pants evening. Thorry. <P> WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE: Not so much of an award as something that makes me want to move to Russia, but why does 'N Synch have to hang out at the CMAs? Jewel I can take. At least she writes bad poetry. But MAN! I'm warning you, this is one of the signs of Armageddon. <P> NICE TO SEE YA AWARD: I made fun earlier, but Merle Haggard joined the honour roll. Marty Stuart, Pam Tillis and the secret Baldwin brother, Vince Gill himself, all added a touch of presence which kid country acts Jessica Andrews and Bryan White failed to. It was a pretty stoic night and the flashiest part of it may have been the half-million-dollar set, but there were some good moments. But ... <P> WORST MOMENT: Alabama and 'N Sync, lined up like emoto-bots. Not to beat a dead horse but, well, DIE HORSE! DIE! DIE! DIE! <P><B>BEST MOMENT: Our lass Shania thanking Dolly Parton after big win. Oddly, she never thanked rock and roll superstar for the last decade Chris Gaines. Or Garth Brooks, for that matter. </B> (What the heck?)<P> Well, maybe next year . . . <BR>[quote]<P>Tommy<BR>N

09-23-1999, 08:15 AM
I read that at canoe earlier-Tommy don't take everything so seriously!N

09-23-1999, 08:54 AM
Well.. I guess I am taking everything so seiously.. but I just don't get it! Why are writers often bringing up Garth when he has nothin' to do with what they wanted to say? <P>TommyN

09-23-1999, 11:17 AM
I don't have the answers Tommy-readership?,<BR>to create a stir?, to bug us about our love for Garth?<P>We both know his music speaks for itself.<P>SarahN

09-23-1999, 02:09 PM
Come on guys, lighten up. I thought it was a very funny article. I think Garth would have laughed at it too. The author definately has a dry sense of humor, but it works....very funny.<P>LuvYa!<BR>DebbieN

09-23-1999, 02:16 PM
<B>TGBsCDNFan</B>,<P>I guess I have to blame myself for my english understanding. Again, english isn't my first language and I guess since everyone thinks that article is funny and true, I am wrong then. <P><BR>But I don't want to stir up any conflict, please don't direct this at me. <P>Tommy<BR>PS: Now I feel ashame because I can't understand the humour of that article.<BR>N

09-23-1999, 02:30 PM
Tommy, <BR>Buddy don't worry about it... I never found the article funny either....<P>BarkleyN

09-23-1999, 02:42 PM
<B>TGBsCDNFan</B>,<P>One more question, what is "Tommy-readership"? <P>Please explain, I don't understand this phrase. I want to learn more ;)<P>Tommy<BR>PS: it's never late for learningN

09-23-1999, 02:42 PM
Tommy-in NO way did I mean YOU. I was just trying to answer your question "Why are writers bringing up Garth...?"<P>SarahN

09-23-1999, 02:49 PM
Hi I see we just crossed!<BR>Readership - when I wrote that I meant some people write articles to create a stir and thus more people read the paper, magazine, <BR>just to see what all the fuss is about.<BR>Hope this helps.<P>Sarah N

09-23-1999, 02:57 PM
ahahhahhhahaha... :D I did read it WRONG this time <B>Sarah</B> ;)<P>Sorry.. I read it wrong the first time.. I thought you meant Tommy-readership is some kind of phrase or something...LOL Geez.. Now I feel really embarrassed :o <P>Sorry.. I apologize for directing at you.. I really think I need to work on my english!! :( <P>Tommy<BR>PS: lol.. I really got the hyphen mixed up..LOL "Tommy.. readership?" not "Tommy-readership".. ;) geez.. how stupid I wasN

09-23-1999, 03:04 PM
No problem! I have my troubles too getting my point across at times.<BR>nice getting to know you better,my fellow BCer!<P>Sarah :)N

09-23-1999, 03:08 PM
<B>Sarah</B>,<P>You also live in BC? :)<P>Thanks for understanding.. <P>TommyN

09-23-1999, 08:58 PM
ROTFLMAO :D :D<P>That guy must be Danish :)<BR>That's EXACTLY how a Dane would write it :)<P>Very very funny :)<P>BrianN

09-24-1999, 05:19 AM
Brian: <P>Glad to see you post...I was beginning to think I was the only one who thought it was funny. I was in the same boat...ROFLMAOing...Very, very funny article.<P>PS...when are you going to answer my questions?? LOL :) :) :) ;) ;) ;) ;)<P>ABF,<BR>DebbieN

10-08-1999, 03:49 PM
Tommy-<BR> Great article! Being a fan of every single one of the artists--- Minus Shania (I like her music, though) I thought the article was HILLARIOUS! 'Cept the Garth thing, of course *LOL*<BR>P.S.-Pssssssst....just remember<BR>'Listen not to the critics, <BR>Who pu their own dreams on the shelves!'<P><BR>KristaN

10-08-1999, 04:23 PM
Well Group,<P>I think the article is funny too - at times award shows are redundant. How many times can the same people thank the same people for the same award this year too....<P>And (I might be completely off base here) but the last part sounds like a compliment to Garth (though whispered behind the author's hand hiding his smile). If Garth had done his usual tour, t.v., talk show, etc. etc. thing; he would have, without a doubt, been up there instead of Shania....but, since he was busy with Gaines it left the field open.....<P>Well that's my take,<P>HawkN

10-10-1999, 06:56 PM
i agree with <B>Hawk</B><P>aRiN