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splitzer
04-04-2000, 12:49 AM
This thread may bother some of you in various ways, but here I go.<P>I was messing around on the computer tonite listening to Garth MP3s when my brother got my attention to let me know that the video for <I>The River</I> was on television. I stopped listening to the MP3s briefly in order to watch the remainder of the video and noticed that Garth looked so happy in the video... I realized how long it's been since I've seen him like that. Given, I didn't go to ST or anything, so I haven't seen a whole lot of him anyway, but on TV it seems like whenever they would show him, no matter how briefly, he would always look happy before. Now he just doesn't. I know that it's understandable, but it was an observation I made. Thoughtfully and soberly I returned to my MP3 listening and <I>The Dance</I> started. I suddenly felt a clarity... a finality... an acceptance. This is the end. Even if he does continue to make music, it will never be the same. He will never be the same. That line strikes me... <I>For a moment, all the world was right, how could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye...</I> That moment has passed. The world is no longer right for Garth. In the movie <I>What Dreams May Come</I> Cuba Gooding Jr. has a line which I have always remembered. He tells Robin Williams "The real hell is your life gone wrong." A truer statement has never been uttered. I have been there. In that depresson, that hole of sadness, confusion, anger, loss, pain, darkness... you see no way you can possibly go on and no reason to try. If you're so blessed, there are people who love you who can pull you out of the hole, but without them, there's little hope. I prayed for God to just take me home and get it over with. I considered suicide but was simply too chicken to do it. I'm glad I was, and I believe that God put that fear in me for a reason - to keep me alive. Garth needs those who love him to make sure he knows it. He needs to feel the love from everyone with great intensity. He needs to see what he means to people. He needs to believe that Colleen is in a better place, and that she wants him to be happy. How much of that is our responsibility, I don't know, but some of it is. We aren't his close friends, we are his fans, and subsequently his distant friends. Most of this is the place of his friends and family, but we need to do all we can, too. If one night you feel the love you have for him requiring expression, express it. Write a letter, send a card, pray for him, whatever. If you are one of the lucky ones who gets to meet him someday soon, tell him how much he means to you. I was so nervous and excited when I met him, I didn't say anything I had wanted to. I was completely tounge-tied. Try to force the words out of your mouth, he needs to hear them. The hole is deep and dark and only those who love you can throw down a ladder you'll climb up.<P>This post has taken a turn I didn't intend it to take. I began it because I had come to a sudden understanding that I was witnessing the end of something precious and beautiful. I don't <I>want</I> it to end, but I believe it is ending as I type. A spark in him, a belief, a truth is gone. Suddenly life is different and cold for him. A turning point has been reached.<P>I'll be honest, I don't know what the point of my post is. I'm sorry if I depressed you, or upset you in any way, but I needed to get that out. Suddenly, I've dived into a deeply reflective mood.<P>Let's all just do our parts, eh? We need to put selfishness behind us. He's a man with a family and a life all his own. The music he has shared with us has touched us in ways even he will never understand, but there is so much to him we will never know. He has suffered a deeply traumatic loss, and he needs support in finding out how to deal with it. If he and Sandy decide it's best for him to retire, he should. It's none of our business to tell him what he should do. He owes us nothing. He doesn't owe us a tour in Denmark or a Farewell Party in the States or a Meet and Greet at Fan Fair. We owe him big time. We owe him understanding and encouragement. Some people may say, "I owe him nothing, he just makes music I happen to like, so what?" Then you do owe him nothing. It's those of us who have been deeply touched by his music and his humanity who owe him so much. If you have been touched, you know what I mean. If you haven't, you don't, and that's fine.<P>From those to whom he has given so much, he deserves all the respect, trust, consideration, support, and TIME that we have to offer.<P>I'll get off the soap box now. I'm not bawling anyone out, and I didn't expect this post to take this turn, but I meant every word.<P>Garth Always,<BR>DanielleN

Pilgrim
04-04-2000, 01:57 AM
Well, since you mention Denmark I will reply :)<P>I have never said he owe a tour here, but he definitely owe a concert, and to finish the rest of the world tour :)<P>He owe us everything (atleast here in Europe and Australia). Without us the fans he would never have been able to do what he is doing today for TEA, for his own family etc. <P>He lost his mom, but so have MANY others.<BR>It's hard but he need to accept the facts that she will never come back.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR>"I owe him nothing, he just makes music I happen to like, so what?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Exactly :)<P>Brian :)N

splitzer
04-04-2000, 02:22 AM
Eight months is hardly enough grieving time.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR>Some people may say, "I owe him nothing, he just makes music I happen to like, so what?" <B>Then you do owe him nothing.</B> It's those of us who have been deeply touched by his music and his humanity who owe him so much. If you have been touched, you know what I mean. <B>If you haven't, you don't, and that's fine.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> :)<P>Garth Always,<BR>Danielle<BR>N

Pilgrim
04-04-2000, 02:47 AM
I think 8 months should be enough :)<P>My mother got over the loss of her mother in no time at all. And the same goes for her brothers ans sisters.<P>My grandmother was diagnosed with leukemia and the docs gave her 6 months to live.<BR>My mom rushed home immediately, and on the way home my grandmother died.<BR>She didn't even live 4 days! And my mom never got the chance to tell her gooodbye.<P>Last year my cousin was going to be married, and the day before the wedding the grooms mom died due to cancer.<P>They cancelled the wedding, but was married 3 months later. :)<P>Maybe this is a HUGE difference between Danes and Americans, because I don't know any who grieve after 8 months like Garth does.<P>I think he should wake up and continue his career. It doesn't help him one single bit to be depressed as he is now.<BR>We all know what happened August 16 1977, and that's what I fear will happen to Garth if he doesn't watch out :o<BR>We know he loves fat food :)<P>BrianN

Snow
04-04-2000, 03:11 AM
I have to say that while I have not come to the acceptance that it is all over yet... I agree with your reasoning and belief that we must support him if we feel that his music has contributed to our lives in a significant way.<P>There are many artists that I enjoy and support by buying their music but I dont feel I owe them anything. Garth is different for me. There have been times when he was that "One hand reaching out." through his music that got me through. Of course he didn't know that this would happen and didnt have me in mind when he made the song... but it helped just the same and I am grateful for that.<P>Grieving is a very personal thing. For many the time period may be short and for others it may take not just months but years. It depends on your relationship with that person and the events in your lives together.<P>There are many people in my life that I would grieve for if they died but I think I would recover fairly well and fast. But if my husband dies... it will be a very long and painful road. I think the difference is that he is my soul mate. As much a part of me as breath. There is no place in this world that I could go that I wouldn't think of him and feel the pain of the loss.<P>I think it is much the same for Garth. A soul mate does not have to be a spouse or even a lover. Some find their soul mates in family and friends. I don't think you ever get over the loss of a soul mate if you are lucky enough to find one in the first place. If you are extremely lucky you will have friends that will make the seperation a little less desolate and help you survive long enough to realize that the person you lost would only want you to be happy and not in so much pain... then you can go on and live your life.<P>If I lose mine... then I already know that the only people that will get me through it are my children because I will have to survive for them. Perhaps Garth has been feeling the same way and that has been what is behind all of this.<P>I say... give him all the time he needs. We are not the keeper or judge of the clock in his heart.N

AbsoluteNJGarthNut
04-04-2000, 05:43 AM
Danielle,<P>**BRAVO** for what your wrote. Everytime I see something a PGer writes that touches my heart I think...Why can't I write like that. I know exactly what you mean when you say <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR>I noticed that Garth looked so happy in the video... I realized how long it's been since I've seen him like that. Given, I didn't go to ST or anything, so I haven't seen a whole lot of him anyway, but on TV it seems like whenever they would show him, no matter how briefly, he would always look happy before. Now he just doesn't.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>After I met Garth in November (at the Christmas special) I said in a post here that he just didn't seem to have "that spark" that I heard about. In Feb when the comedy channel ran his first SNL appearance as musical guest I actually commented on the fact that he just doesn't look like that anymore. It seems to me that the pressures of his career, family and loss of his mother are really starting to show on him.<P>When I was at Spring Training I gave Garth a book that has helped me. It's written by a man named John Edward (I had written a post about this book a long time again because at the end Garth is mentioned) It's about life after death and people that "communicate" with people that have crossed over. I have "witnessed" this man first hand and he is nothing short of amazing. Even if you don't believe in this stuff, the book really touches you. I thought maybe it would help Garth too (if he has time to read it)<P>Ok, now......I wrote the above first in order to calm down just a bit. <B>And moderators please forgive me for this and Danielle please forgive me for this as weel</B><P>BRIAN....<P>Just who do you think you are??!!??!!??!!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR>Maybe this is a HUGE difference between Danes and Americans, because I don't know any who grieve after 8 months like Garth does.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!! We have ALL tolerated your little tantrums about Garth not touring in Europe. I can't speak for everyone, but I for one am just sick and tired of hearing about it. But just who do you think you are that you can determine a grieving period for Garth??? He was EXTREMELY close with his mother. Who are you to say that 8 months is enough time. The rest of Garth's life may never be enough time to get over the loss of his mom and I can't believe your audacity to say other wise.<P>I'm so mad right now I'm shaking. I loss my Grandfather 10 years ago. I still mourne his loss EVERYDAY!! I loved him that much! I also lost a friend from high school at the age of 25. He had a brain anyerism(sp??) and one day he was there and the next he was dead. 25!! Just 25!! That was 4 years ago, the pain is still with me EVERYDAY!! Are you going to sit there and tell me that I should have gotten over his death within <B>8 MONTHS!????!!</B><P>I think we have all tolerated you and your complaining about everything long enough and now Mr. Brian you have crossed the line. I am deeply offended that you would dare post what you did.<P>It is time that you deal with the fact that Garth is NOT tourning in Denmark, and SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!!! Garth is hurting and will hurt for a long time. DEAL WITH IT!!!!<P><BR>NOTE TO MODERATORS:<P>I apologize deeply if I too have crossed a line here. The idea of someone telling another person what the proper mourning time is deeply offended me as I'm sure it would upset other people as well. If I have crossed a line than I will accept any punishment necessary. And please if you need to please delete this part of the topic, but if you can help don't close Danielle's thread on account of me.<P>(wiping the tears from my angry face...I step down and walk away into the sunset)<P><BR>N

Sarah in oz
04-04-2000, 06:13 AM
Absolute Garth nut.<P>I'm sure the tread would not be closed. And might I say..here here, for your stand. I've pretty much ignored his views on the whole, I tend to be of the opinion 'each to thier own'...everyone's entitled etc..but your right. Grief is a very personal thing. <P>Thankfully I have not lost a parent but I know eventually that will happen and when it does it will certainly take longer than a year to get over it. I'm very close to my mother just as Garth was to him. He's an emotional man. Thats something that we like about him. Situations in his life change him, for better or worse because he feels them so deeply. This will change him too. Perhaps losing her has reminded him that life is so very short and his wife and daughters have has so little of him while we have has so much.<P>He may never release another album, he may never tour Denmark. Thats his choice. But for what he has given I'm thankful. I dont think he owes us anything, he and his family have given enough. Its been a two way street, and an enjoyable one. If it comes to an end today, then we should accept that and look back, thankful for what we had, as he will.<P>Brian, it was an arrogant statement perhaps meant to inflame, but a lot of yours are. This forum is open to all opinons and therefore open to yours as well. I hope that when you read Garthnuts comments you will keep an open minds as well. If you believe a few months is enough to get over the death of a loved one, thats fine, but not everyone will agree. If you think garth should tour Denmark thats fine too..But we've heard it...and heard it ...and heard it..and again not everyone will agree. Thats the wonderful thing about the individual. :)<P>Danielle, wonderful words.<BR>Thank you<P>SarahN

loreli
04-04-2000, 06:58 AM
Everyone handles grief in their own way. I have to say coming from a family of extremely macho men, I can see why Brian may have said that. <P>Men (and I really hate to use generalizations here, sorry) have a tendency to internaize their grief, or pretend it isn't there. My husband would say get over it, you cant do anything about it, accept it and go on, remember those who have passed with love and they wouldn't want you to be so unhappy. <P>I am more of a wallower. I know when one of my parents pass I will be a nut case for a long time. I think Garth being the baby of the family has a lot to do with it too, it really kind of explains his personality.<P>LoriN

SweetGBFan
04-04-2000, 10:04 AM
No offense Brian, but sometimes your posts dont even sound like you like Garth or that you are a fan. All I will say, cause I know we are supposed to be nice to each other. Also 8months is no time at all to grieve!! Some people grieve the rest of their lives for someone they love and never get over it. I think time will heal Garth and prayer and keeping busy with family and such. N

changer
04-04-2000, 10:17 AM
Brian,<P>I noticed that nothing in your post indicates that you yourself have experienced the loss of someone who means the world to you. (Perhaps there isn't anyone that means the world to you....) <BR>I hope, for your sake, that when the time comes (and it will) that you must endure the experience of the hand of fate reaching into your chest and ripping your heart out, that there is someone more loving than you to take care of you. <P>I'm done with you, bud.<P>changerN

ShamelesGB
04-04-2000, 10:45 AM
You know grief is a very personal thing. Men do usually get over it faster or they are just better at hiding their feelings. Garth as we all know does not hide his feelings at all and is a very tender hearted man. <BR>My husbahd Robert is tender hearted. He wears his emotions out where everyone can see them. He lost his Dad 2 1/2 years ago and to this day he is not over it. How do you get over losong a parent, the only thing worse I can think of would be to lose a child or a mate.<BR>I say we are being selfish exspecting Garth to do any more for us than he already has. And yes some of the spark is gone. But you can see a glimer of it when he talks about his girls, so right now that is where his happiness is. I miss the concerts and new CD's as much as anyone but he needs this time to get his life back together.The hug I got in January when I told him he had made a good choice was priceless.<BR>So I agree lets just all be there to support him and to those people who get to see him, hug him and listen to what he is saying. We owe him this for what he has done for our lives with his music.<P>JMHO <BR> Teresa :)N

Alawishes
04-04-2000, 10:50 AM
I am sure Garth will do what is best for him. If it is retiring or whatever. I really don't think he will quit music though or if he does I am sure he will do other things. I mean sure Garth did baseball because of charity but look at it people did Garth have to do baseball if he ddn't want to and wanted to be with his family, NO he could of stayed home so I don't think he wants t be home with his family all the time and that right there proves the point. Garth said in the interview he don't want to be ahppy anymore, he didn't say he don't want to be happy doing music when he said he don't want to be happy he meant the whole 9 yards, in anything that brings him joy he don't want to be happy, it is not just music. We don't know Garth or what he wants even though some of us like to think we do. If Garth wanted to be with his family and out of the spotlight he would not have done baseball even if it is was for charity, he would cancel his CG project, he would not have accepted the job for that Frequency movie, he would not have accepted to sing at the Academy awards, or even the civil rights concert. I don't know where you people get off saying Garth needs to quit, if he needed that he would do that right now, he does not have to do civil rights concert, academy awards, baseball, movie work, movie music or nothing. Nobody twist his arms and make him that just ask and he does it. He is not obligated to say yes, he has turned plenty of other things down when people have asked him to do something. Let Garth figure out what he wants to do and quit acting or saying what you think he needs because if privaty is what he wants then he himself would do it. What did Garth say he was going to do this year on Crook and Chase??? He said he was going to lay low, lay low does not consist of playing baseball, working on movies, singing at awards or at civil rights concerts etc. It means staying out of the spotlight so obvious he felt he couldn't that because we didn't twist his arm making him do baseball or movies. Maybe if Garth would npt try to do so much he would not be tired.N

Alawishes
04-04-2000, 10:54 AM
Garth said he was happy doing anything so what if he is sad around his family, I mean when he looks at his kids I am sure he thinks of his Mother not being able to see them grow up, the youngest is 3 I think. If he finds happiest in music then he should stick with it if it makes him not sad around his family.N

Pilgrim
04-04-2000, 12:17 PM
<B>I AM SORRY YOU TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY</B><P>You completely missed my point. I know noone gets over the death of a loved one in 8 months or a year.<P>Maybe I should have phrased it in another way, you can blame this on my poor English.<P>Why do I even bother explain myself?? None of you believe me anyway now :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(<P>I'm out!!<P>Brian<BR> :( :( :( :( :( :( :(<P><B>Danielle</B><BR>I hope from our mails that you realize that I was not trying to be mean or something or ruin your topic in any way!<P>ByeN

Pilgrim
04-04-2000, 12:37 PM
Oh, I forgot to add<P><B>To the ones who e-mail me and happens to fall over this thread</B><P>If you don't want to mail anymore, just drop a note saying so. <P>I'll be fine.... I guess<P> :( :( :( :( :(<P>Brian<P> :( :( :( :( :(N

Cheryl
04-04-2000, 12:56 PM
<B>Danielle</B>......yours is a very insightful post. I completely agree with you when you said that Garth owes US nothing. I've been saying the same thing ever since he first announced his possible retirement. I also completely agree with you about feeling that it is us, the fans, who owe HIM. I too have been deeply touched by the music, and mostly, by the man himself. I know my outlook on life has changed sooooo much for the better in so many ways, all thanks to Garth.<P><B>AbsoluteGarthNutt</B>......you spoke your peace, and did so quite well, IMHO. I fully realize that being in the position of a forum moderator I probably should not acknowledge it, but I can not sit here and pretend that I was not also taken aback by such callous remarks. <P><B>Brian</B>.....what you said, IMHO, was totally out of line. However, you do have the right to post your opinions, without fear of personal attacks. <I>Just like the other PG'ers have the right to disagree with what you say.</I> So, in that light, I'm here to disagree with you not only on this post, but on many others as well. It is MY OPINION that GARTH doesn't owe YOU a darn thing. Do you have a concert ticket in your hand that says "Garth Brooks scheduled to perform on such and such a date", and then Garth didn't show up??? And if you did, guess what? The most the man would owe you then is a refund. But since you dont, he doesn't owe you squat. However much you were looking forward to Garth doing an European tour, you have got to realize that plans do change. Sure he planned to do it. So what. That's the way life works. Or as I've heard put another way "life is what happens when you make other plans". Garth made the CDs. You bought the music. He sold a product that you willing purchased. He was compensated for his work, you have the product. And that is the END OF THE DEAL, unless your CD's came with a disclaimer that Garth is now forever in your debt. I know mine don't have any such disclaimers, written or implied.<P><B>Note to other moderators</B>: Sorry if I crossed any lines here, but there comes a time when things need to be said. I dont feel that my response was a personal attack, but if you feel otherwise, then do what ya gotta do. Delete me if you must.N

Cheryl
04-04-2000, 01:01 PM
Brian....you posted your reply while I was still typing. Having read that, I apologize for sounding so harsh. I dont think that you should leave PG, just PLEASE give a little more thought before posting.N

Pilgrim
04-04-2000, 01:05 PM
Cheryl<P>I said I am sorry and that I phrased it the wrong way.<P>I can see where you come from when I re-read my topic.<P><B>I am sorry!!</B><P>BrianN

polly_wants_a_cracker
04-04-2000, 01:06 PM
My opinion is threads like this should be left alone, it is silly to get in a discussion over whether or not Garth should retire or not. I don't want him to but he will make that decision himself. He don't need fans saying that all his other fans should go up to him and tell him he should quit or whatever, that is the most stupidest thing. That would make things so much worst for him because not all his fans visit this site so you will have some telling him to quit and then some telling him please don't stop so i think it is best to let him figure out on his own what he wants. He is grown. I have to agree that if he wanted privacy so bad and just wanted all his time for his kids that he would not have gone to baseball, and did the awards and stuff, he don't have to, he could of postponed ST until next year and went. Some of you sound like you are blaming yourself for being a fan that Garth is depressed, Garth is sad over his mom but that is no reason for all you to post saying Garth should stop, it is not your business and you don't know if he should stop or not. Look at what he did this year, did his fans ake him play baseball? NO Did his fans make him to the CG album? NO the award show? So it is not us the fans not granting him his peace and quiet, he has to pull out first and stop doing things, as long as he is doing baseball, movie projects, etc, he is asking for fame and is considered entertaining. So quit nagging at other fans when they say they don't want Garth to quit singing because nobody has the right to do that acept Garth of course. Garth is sad and he said he don't want to be happy anymore, he was not just referring to music, I heard what he said, he said nothing makes him happy, however he did have a big smile on his face throughout baseball so maybe he is exagerating a bit on that. He also said he don't want to do anything that makes him happy, I would hope he is acting a little more different around his kids, I mean what is he showing them? He is showing them that when he dies or Sandy dies that his 3 girls need to drop the life they are living and go into a shell and be sad and not be happy that is what he is saying. I am not being rude. Kids bury their parents, that is life, Parents do not want to bury their kids. I will bury my folks, my kids will bury me. My folks don't want me being deressed over the fact that they are gone, you know when he said he don't want to be happy he was referring to a lot of things outside music, so you know what he is missing out a lot of good things that are happening right now in his life, family and work related, and these things will not come back to him. If my kids act like this when I die I am going to send a lightning bolt down into their behind and make them get up and get back to their lives. My conclusion ends is that I think it is better if threads like this are not made, or not made until Garth does retire, it's nice a lot of you want him to know if he quits you won't be sad or whatever but a lot of people feel differently and have different opinions about this and right now Garth is not being specific at all about retiring so we don't know what he is thinking or what his plans are and I kinda feel Garth does not either. He is sad so he is not seeing the good things of things, acpet baseball probally. Garth is not going to spend 365 days a year, 7 days a week, 24 housrs a day at his home, I don't think he can do it because I cannot even do it. These post are pretty senseless really, Garth just made an announcement saying he is thinking of retirement so let him do that, let him decide, he didn't ask for anybody's input. Why make threads like these if we are all just fans and don't know how he is feeling, doesn't it seem logical that if he wanted to be more at home right now he would be doing that??? He has been off touring over a year now, and pretty much away from country music so obvious the things he has been doing for about a year and a half are not obligations, just little things he wants to do. When he makes his decision on his future then I can see to post but for now just let him be and we can support or choose not to support what he is doing in the present and let him decide on the future. Life would be more better and people here will have lower blood pressure because I notice how some of you dwell on his marriage, retirement, I bet half of you people have ulcers, worrying about stuff that any of you cannot change. I doubt Garth wants people posting things about whether he should or should not retire and I really doubt he wants fans telling other fans they are not fans because they have different opinions over these things. It is nice you care and all but really it is not anybody's place to say what Garth needs to do, he will make that decision himself for now I say the best thing to do is just go along and wait for Garth, if he saids he can't do music anymore then.... but he is not saying this and has not said that, he has even said if he retires he will miss touring very much so he still loves it just he don't want to be happy and does not want to be happy so he don't know.<P>I am not sure but maybe Garth should try getting professional help. His mom passed away in August right? It would seem he would not be so sad now being that he has 3 kids and all that and really has been doing things he wants to do for the past year now, It seems family alone should have brighten him up by now a bit. But he is the one that don't want to be happy so maybe he still sad and bummed out around his kids.N

splitzer
04-04-2000, 01:56 PM
My, my, my... what has become of my thread? I leave for a few hours to get some sleep...<P><B>Brian</B><BR>I know what you meant. I know we disagree about this. That's a part of life, I was never upset with you in any way about your post. I know that if I lost someone close to me, especially a parent, I would grieve for an extremely long time, and the pain would NEVER go away. I've never experienced it, but I know myself. However, your words rolled right off my shoulders. I think perhaps you are being self-centered or not thoughful enough on the topic, but you didn't attack me. I'm in no way angry at you. I knew what you meant.<P><B>Karin</B><BR>I understand where your anger came from, but I know Brian well enough to know that he didn't mean to offend. He is something of a pessimist, from my experience (no intention to offend, Brian :)), and I've learned to ignore some of the things he says. Grieving is, indeed, a very personal thing, and no one has the right to tell someone else how long to grieve. Some people do bounce right back. Some people don't. Brian was wrong to say what he did, but I believe his apology is sincere.<P><B>Everyone</B><P>Starting this thread had a few intentions... <BR>I was feeling rather reflective and needed to express my thoughts. This seemed the perfect place to do it. That's the type of person I am, I need to express myself.<P>I wanted to encourage people to show Garth all the support possible, because he deserves and needs it.<P>I wanted to explain to people that we should not presume to tell him what he should do, as it is not our decision, and frankly we know almost nothing about the factors involved. It's not our place.<P>I certainly never intended this thread to become one huge argument.<P>I, for one, completely forgive Brian for his harsh words and simply request that he give things more thought before he types them. Brian, you have a reputation of always being the first to reply to every topic -or close to it- and perhaps that should change. Give yourself time to think. Your thoughts may become clearer if you do.<P>For those of you who believe, let me remind you of this. Jesus taught us to forgive. He taught us to forgive murder, infidelity, and, yes, harsh words. He did not ask us to forget or accept them as "okay," but he did teach us to forgive and act as He would. Food for thought.<P>If you don't believe, just ignore that paragraph, it wasn't directed toward you.<P>Garth Always,<BR>DanielleN

loreli
04-04-2000, 02:02 PM
I have to agree with Danielle in saying I know Brian would never purposely hurt another.<P>I also have to agree in saying we should forgive, and I will also add that we are not to judge others, lest we also be judged. It's something for all of us to think about.<P>LoriN

GBsMydance
04-04-2000, 02:35 PM
Danielle,<BR>Your post was awesome and heartfelt.<BR>I agree with all you had to say. You are so correct, Garth owes us nothing, he has given us so much.<BR>If it is indeed Garth's time to move in a different direction, how can we expect more from someone that has given so much. Not many other celebraties have been so excessable, not many others have been so devoted to his fans.<BR>Garth, if this was your last dance, then I will say, thank you for sharing it with us, and thank you for making a difference in each and everyone of our lives.<BR>Danielle, bravo, well written letter, Garth would be proud.<BR>PamN

Sarah in oz
04-04-2000, 03:02 PM
yer Brian I'm sure...<P>BTW, what happened in 1977. You mentioned in a previous thread about an event in 1977?<P>Sarah<BR>N

splitzer
04-04-2000, 03:55 PM
Thank you to all of you who had such kind words about what I wrote. I just write from the heart, and it always seems to serve me well. :)<P>Thanks again.<P>Garth Always,<BR>DanielleN

BlueRose
04-04-2000, 04:05 PM
Danielle and Karin,<P>What you both said needed to be said and I thank you for it. Garth needs our support now more than ever. He needs to know that we love him and are here for him. I don't know exactly how to convey that to him other than what I've already done. But my stepsister said something the other night that makes all the sense in the world. She said, "just keep telling him". I know some of the fans at ST got the chance to talk to Garth about their mutual losses and he did not shy away from talking about his grief in the least. In fact, it seemed like his way of reaching out to us to help him.<P>I've lost both of my parents within the last decade, so God only knows just how long it will be before Garth will be half the Garth that he once was. The grieving process never really ends when you've lost someone so dear to you, you just find ways to deal with it. That is what I hope for Garth and until that zest for life returns, I don't want him to just do something such as a tour or put out a new anything to make US happy. I want him to do it for him, when he's ready to do it and if he's never ready I will understand and I will always love and support him.<P>The pain that I saw for the first time in his eyes face to face was in October of last year and the first time I felt the pain in his embrace was after SNL, so believe me when I say he has a long road to travel but he can and will be better in time. <P>Cheryl<BR>N

BlueRose
04-04-2000, 04:13 PM
And Danielle...I believe we are an extension of Garth's family. At least I think that's the way he sees us. I think he sees us as much more than just fans.<P>And I do know how clinical depression feels and all I will say is, THANK YOU GOD AND THANK YOU GARTH...I'm here!!!<P>Cheryl<P>N

splitzer
04-04-2000, 04:19 PM
I agree with you, Cheryl, that we are not "just fans," but what I meant was that we are not with him every day, seeing him with his children and his wife and his friends... we don't REALLY know what's going on for him. Therefore, we have no place to tell him what he should do.<P>See what I'm saying?<P>Garth Always,<BR>DanielleN

BlueRose
04-04-2000, 04:41 PM
Oh, I agree wholeheartedly dear!!<P>I just meant that as an extension of his family we must/should understand what he's going through and in time he will decide what is right for him, not us. It tears my heart apart seeing him in so much pain and I would do anything to make him feel better...anything in the world.<P>Cheryl<BR>N

changer
04-04-2000, 04:53 PM
I've been thinking about how Garth has gotten himself and us all into a Catch 22.<P>For years, he has been saying that he will quit when he feels like what he has to offer is no longer wanted. That he will let the response of the fans guide his decision. <P>Now Garth has reached a point where he MUST take a break from the intense pressure of touring and recording. He has OTHER THINGS he wants to do. We realize that this is what he needs and wants, so a lot of fans are saying, "You go, guy. DWYGD." If that's what he says he needs, on the air, multiple times, then that is what we want for him. (unless we are selfish....)<P>So we leave him alone and let him live in peace. <P>Isn't it terrible, though, that he is still letting the fans decide?? Quote: "I think everyone has had enough of Garth." "I don't think anyone wants to see Chris in a movie." <P>What a canundrum...1) I will let the fans decide, 2) I need to take a break, 3) The fans support his decision, 4) "see the fans don't want me any more." 1) I will let the fans decide....... and over it goes. <P>We are damned it we do and damned if we don't. If we beg him to give us more because we love him so much, we are being selfish. If we let him go in peace, if we support his decision, we aren't letting him know how much we care and he thinks we are done with him.<P>IT SUCKS. But I don't blame him. <P>Garth's emotional change is permanent, by the way. It is the emotional equivalent to a "before" and "after" picture. You can never go back to the "before." Trust me, I know. <P>changerN

AmazedByChris
04-04-2000, 05:17 PM
Danielle and Cheryl and those who say we should support Garth - I agree wholeheartedly. I don't understand people who say 'leave him alone'. Someone who is sad needs least of all to be left alone - it only intensifies the loss.<P> By all means, don't tell him what to do - we are not able to 'walk a mile in his shoes' so we can't possibly know what's best for him and his family; marriage or separation, retirement or not. We can certainly say 'I support whatever you choose to do and thank you for what you've given me'. <BR> <BR>To those who keep saying 'he said he'd lay low but look at all he's doing' - everyone is different, right? And nobody feels exactly the same way every day. He's said that doing the music for Frequency helped him a lot; usually people find that keeping busy is a way of coping. So perhaps at the time he said he'd lay low, he didn't realize that he'd need to keep busy to keep going.<P>Brian - Brian, Brian. Some people are empathic - meaning they feel others' emotions, or at least identify with them and can sympathize. Others are merely observers. Even observers ought to understand that when someone is sad, or happy, or anything else, there is no law or rule about how or how long one ought to do it. I know you apologized, but I hope you know why people were so upset. Maybe you're so obsessed with your grievance with Garth that you can't drum up any way of identifying with his sorrow but I hope in future you pause for a long time before being so heartless. <P>N

Alawishes
04-04-2000, 05:25 PM
Well when Garth or if Garth gets on tv or holds the official press conference saying he needs to quit music to do other things then I can see but he has not did that, all he is doing is saying he is taken the year to decide if quitting music is his right decision and if it will be what he really wants, obvious if he really wants that he would not have to take a year to decide to quit or not, he was pretty close to a retirement announcement, all he had to do was leave out the "probally" and he would be through so he must not know if quitting his career in music is good for him or not. He does say when the people is done with him and he just said that not too long ago, I don't think he is asking for his fans to bail out on him. If he wants to quit for other things he needs to say that, which he has said if he quits music he will still be involved in other things but he has not said directly that there are other things I want to do so I need to quit music. He needs to be more specific maybe. I am juts going to let Garth decide, if Garth saids he wants to be let alone then I will leave him alone but he has to be the one to pulll out first and quit doing things that draws attention, it don't make sense for me to stop going along with the things he does just because people think the fans should leave him alone, iF Garth didn't want to entertain he would stop. As long as he is doing things he wants to entertain.N

GarthFanCanada1
04-04-2000, 05:38 PM
Brian,<P>I am gonna email you in regards to this later tonight, ok? I don't want to write what I have to say on the forums.....<P><BR>BarkleyN

Alawishes
04-04-2000, 05:51 PM
How did all this be brung about anyways, Garth has not said much about his possibel retirement for a while now. He is sad over his mother and said he didn't want to be happy anymore but he didn't say anything like I don't want to do music now. Now all of sudden people are getting touchy over his possible retirement when he has not mentioned much about it or anything. It has not even been mentioned much around here acept in a few reference that he might or might not. Why alll of a sudden a urge to bring it back up?? Nobody has been not saying he should or shold not retire here since Dec. Why bring it all back now. This subject is better left alone until Garth decides. I can see your urge to tell get everybody to tell Garth the support him but for one not everybody here is going to be meeting him so the only way we can support him is to buy albums he puts out, or go allong with what he is doing at present and at present he is not retiring, he deciding on his own that so really what is there to talk about since we have no idea what he is planning on doing is feeling what he needs or wants.<P>I am confused. He has not said anything. What is there to say about this subject other then the fact he either will or he won't. It is not our decision to make. Why talk about it like if we know what he needs.N

splitzer
04-04-2000, 06:33 PM
I posted it because it was on my mind and because of all the talk about him being depressed. I'm not saying what he "should" do, I've said time and time again that that is exactly what I think people should stop doing.<P>Garth Always,<BR>DanielleN

zulu
04-04-2000, 10:47 PM
Well normally I stay away from topics like these because they always cause dissention. <P>Danielle<P>I understand you writing this and you put it beautifully.<P>Other PG's<P>Just a few words regarding Brian's comments.<P>It's easy for you to put what you are feeling into words because your mother toungue is English and you have no problem with that. Bear in mind that Brian is Danish and English is not his native language therefore he has more difficulty expressing what he feels. I know this for fact. Sometimes you try to say something that, in your native toungue would be said like that and when you translate it it gives a completely different meaning to what was your initial intention. <P>Easy for you guys (sorry for generalising here) to say. Try typing something in a foreign language and then tell me about it.<BR>Give Brian a bit of credit here. You know him well enough to know that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone on here. He is one of the only guys on here that has the guts to be honest enough and voice how he feels even though he knows he's gonna get flamed (as was the case here). <BR>I know what he posted seemed harsh, but as I said give him some credit for being human and knowing that grieving is a long and personal process OK.<P>Sorry if this offends anyone, but I felt it had to be said.<P>Zulu N

AbsoluteNJGarthNut
04-05-2000, 04:47 AM
Ok after reading all of this I felt I had to address this. I was just going to drop it, I said what I said.<P><B>Brian,</B><P>I won't apologize for what I said. However, I'm willing to just let it go. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR>I think 8 months should be enough <P>My mother got over the loss of her mother in no time at all. And the same goes for her brothers ans sisters.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Your post just struck a chord with me, and like I explained to a few people, I just snapped. I haven't lost a parent but I have lost two very important people in my life and your post just hit a sensitive nerve with me. <P>Like I said, I won't apologize for what I said but I do understand that it was not your intention to hurt anyone. I say we just let this go.<P>However, I can't speak for anyone else but...<BR>I think it's time you let go of your anger over Garth not finishing the tour in Europe. Again I speak for no one else, but I for one am really tired of seeing it in just about every post. We ALL understand and can sympathize with your disappointment but we don't need to see it everday. I am just asking. :)<P><BR><B>Danielle</B><P>In my original post I apologized to your directly before I even started writing and here I apologize again. I'm sorry that I started all of this on your thread. <P>Your thoughts were beautiful to read and touched my heart and the heart of many PGers who read it. I never meant to take away from that with my post. <P>I do hope that you will forgive me for "desicrating" your beautiful thoughts with my fit of anger.<P><BR><B>Other PGers</B><P>I would like to apologize to all of you as well for my outburst. I know we all try to be friends here and should never personally attack another persons post. I have received some e-mails from some you telling me your personal thoughts on the subject and I thank you. But please do not take anything this for an example. I should never have attacked Brian here on the forums. I should have done it in a personal e-mail to him, but as I explained I just posted it in anger. <P>I wasn't so much defending Garth, but defending anyone who has lost someone special in their life and has had to go through the grieving process. I have other people tell me with in a short period of losing someone that "You have had enough time" and it angered me then and it still angers me when someone says it to someone else. Like I told Brian and I'm telling all of you...I will not apologize for what I've said, just how I handled the whole situation.<P>For any of you who know me, know I don't usually post in sensitive subjects or do I usually "attack" other PGers views or opinions. This is a first for me, and I would like to say my last.<P>Thank you all.<P>Karin<P><BR>N

pldrw
04-05-2000, 05:13 AM
Maybe I'm one of the ones you have all talked about!! But I do feel a sense of Garth that can't be explained here or anywhere else!!All I ask is for YOU ALL to let Garth Decide Things,Times and Places for himself!!!!!! HE HAS A GOOD MIND !!!! Let him make it up himself by himself !!!!!!!!! Or he won't be happy!!!! Isn't That what we all want for him to be happy!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)N

Garthmedic
04-05-2000, 08:47 AM
AMEN!<P>--spud--N

ALI
04-05-2000, 09:35 AM
thanks for putting into words what many think deep inside. I believe somehow, we must let Garth and Sandy know that we support them, no, we don't have to "like" the fact that retirement will come...someday but for all those who have been touched by Garth, his music, Sandy's support, Colleen's love for Garthfans, etc.I believe Danielle, you are correct in your post. <BR>Yes, in time, Garth will deal with things, but I think he is happy doing baseball or signing after the games or he wouldn't do it.N

LVGB4EVER
04-06-2000, 02:00 PM
I wanted to close this thread but decided to leave it alone for a bit.<P>If it get's out of hand again,I will close it...that is what e-mail is for...If you feel the need to vent and say something that will offend someone PLEASE use the e-mail for that.<P>Thank You<BR>SueN

splitzer
04-06-2000, 02:11 PM
...<P><BR>...<P><BR>...<P><BR>I'm at something of a loss... this poor thread! :)<P><B>Karin</B> I know you wouldn't do this on a regular basis. Apology accepted! :) I never thought the post would get this much response, anyway, I just needed to express myself.<P>Garth Always,<BR>DanielleN