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sonic
05-08-2001, 01:00 PM
Hi everyone
This is the first time I have posted a song on this forum, any views on this song would be greatly appreciated, thanks
Sara

WORN OUT COWBOY


Thereís a hole in my heart where your name used to be
Since, you left me Angeline, I should have been wild and fancy free.
I should have had a different girl 24/7 days a week,
And, I should have been starting a brand new fashion trend

I should have been dancing every night
I should have been seen all over town
Maybe once a week I would have stayed in to catch a game

CHORUS
But, Iím a worn out cowboy
My uses it seems have been outweighed
These old blue wrangler jeans are all torn
And my stetson been on its stand for weeks.

Hey Angeline since you left me
I ainít been out for weeks.
My friends are sick of hearing
How much I miss your company.

Even my dog leaves the room when
A sad song comes on the radio
He knows whatís a cominí and its
Too much for him to bare.

CHORUS

Canít you give my dog and friends a break, Canít you come back to me?
Iíll buy a new pair of jeans and Iíll wear my stetson Just for you.
Please Angeline put some life back into me and
Save me from being close to insanity.

CHORUS



:)

Chief
05-08-2001, 09:39 PM
Sonic!!

that is so cool!!!!! :)

good stuff, keep it coming :)

Vanessa
05-08-2001, 09:43 PM
this is really :cool:!! Keep it commin'!! :)

vanessa :)

sonic
05-09-2001, 08:43 AM
Hi

Chief and Vanessa, thanks for your comments I am glad that you like it
Sara:)

Vanessa
05-09-2001, 06:19 PM
your welcome :)

Vanessa :)

MDgarthgirl
05-14-2001, 08:57 PM
Nice imagery. :) I like the idea of it. Just one person's opinion, I'd say that the lines may use a bit of focus.

"I should have been dancing every night
I should have been seen all over town
Maybe once a week I would have stayed in to catch a game"

Could be...

"I should be dancing every night
I should be all over town
Catch a game whenever I want
now that you're not around"

(Just off the top of my head, don't put any merit to it. The change of tense is because you are describing what the person is or should be doing now that he's single.)

I can see the character remorsing his loss, but it might go down more easily if it rhymed. I don't want to sound like that's my only view for everything, cuz I know I've said it before... I just think if the masses of listening public were to hear this, they might bend a more sympathetic ear to lines that rhyme. I think that's one of the "unwritten rules" of a certain business. ;)

Keep writing,

Nash

Pilgrim
05-16-2001, 09:08 PM
very :cool::cool: :cool: :cool:

Keep up the great work:D:D

Brian

Marga
05-28-2001, 07:03 AM
What a foolish Angeline if she lets you go.....:rolleyes:

littlebit
05-30-2001, 07:07 PM
Very cool Sonic. Keep 'em coming! :cool: :)