Story by Teresa Morris. Planet Garth Columnist
December 28, 1999  

How do I say all that I have to say? All that is bubbling up inside of me? So many thoughts have clouded my mind this holiday season. It's been a time of great joy. It's been a time of intense sorrow. It's been a time when I've renewed friendships and strengthened them. It's been a time when I've looked to sunsets for comfort and to friends for laughter. I've not been able to sit and write for fear of what would come out on paper. Now, compelled by some inner force, I know its time to let my thoughts have words. Where they will take me, I'm not sure. All I know is some of the thoughts and feelings I am carrying around have to be let go.

Garth has made an announcement of sorts. He's mentioned a possible retirement. People, with all I have in me...I ask you to please let him be. I'm one of the last people who want to see the day come when Garth no longer tours or is no longer active in the music business. I'm one of the first to want him to do what he needs to do to feel complete and whole again. It's actually not that difficult a fence to sit on. Ultimately, you just want what is best for him.

When I sat in that audience at Crook and Chase and listened intently as Garth whispered those words, I was not one bit surprised. This has been a long time coming. I said as much when the tour ended last year. Something in me then knew the end of that road was nearer than any of us cared to believe. When Garth spoke of possibly retiring, in whatever capacity he deems necessary, there was no shock, there was no sense of loss, there was no disbelief. Not one tear of sadness fell. However a smile covered my face and I reached up, patted my heart, looked upward and whispered "thank you." I felt only positive things.

There was relief. There was tremendous pride that swelled in my heart. There was a feeling that I can't really find the word for. I only know that at that moment, I was genuinely happy for him. For him and Sandy and those precious three girls. This has been too long in coming for them all. I can only wish them well.

Many times I have said, Garth owes us nothing. He's given more to the fans than any other entertainer I have ever been aware of. He gives not only musically but personally. How sweet have been the times he's said, "Well, there's fans...and then, there's friends."

Looking back on what Garth faced the last few years; especially on the tour, I am more in awe each day of how he made it through the performances, the interviews, through the day. He faced a loss that was so personal and so dear to him. He held his head high and did it with grace and dignity. The same grace and dignity instilled in him from his parents. On stage, few ever saw the hurt behind his eyes. In interviews, few ever read between the lines or saw the tiredness or the stress. He was a damn good actor, always has been, still is. Garth deserves an Oscar. I just hope that deep inside he does realize that not all of us are blind to what he's going through.

Of course, on stage, that was his few hours to let it all go and put it as far in the back of his mind as it would go. The stage, the music and us...allowed him to run from reality for a while. He was our getaway. We were his. Every time I'd hear him sing "It's me they been coming to see to forget about life for a while," this heart would begin to smile. No truer words has he ever sung. It worked both ways. Oh how it worked its magic.

Yet still, looking back on the memory of....

I know that Garth is an all or nothing type guy. I know that Garth has ran from reality as long as he can. Time has came to face it head on. It's not going to be easy for him. It's going to hurt. He's hurting now, we all know that. It's evident in his words, his actions, his eyes and even in his smile. Yet he still has not taken the time he needs for himself to face the loss of his beloved Mom.

Grief affects us all in different ways. We each must find our own ways to deal with loss. Garth has got to take the time to find his way to deal with his loss. If that path leads him to take time off, to lay low, to not tour, to not record, to run himself into the ground, to only write, to just sit in his barn for six months, to travel to the moon, to go into seclusion or whatever it possesses him to do. WE need to support that decision and let the man be and do what he needs to be and do. As hard as that may be, it is what we need to do for him.

Garth has always came to us fans and treated us with respect, loyalty, honesty, and trust. It is time to give that back to him. Whatever he chooses to do in the upcoming year or years, it is well deserved. Time off may be just what he needs.

None of us can see the future. The key word to remember was "probably" in that retire statement. Another thing to remember is retirement has many meanings and depths. Yet the biggest thing to remember is Garth's state of mind right now.

Garth is tired. Mentally, physically and emotionally..the man has to be drained. He has said himself, how can you top the last three years on that tour? It was one of the absolutely most amazing journeys for us....can you even begin to imagine what it was like for HIM? Then, there was the always present thought of his Mom, traveling with him when she could, but always knowing in the back of his mind how sick she was. Add that to his Mom dealing with the cancer, surgeries, and with her death in August. Then, add in the frustrations of the career with the highly misunderstood Chris Gaines venture. And, let me not forget to mention the day to day rumors with the never-ending bull...um...crap....in the tabloids. Throw in the stress of being away from Sandy, Taylor, August and Allie and home. Don't forget traveling coast to coast for countless interviews and appearances. Of course, there was also the time spent with the Padres kicking off the Touch Em All Foundation. Could any of us have done what he has done in the past three years? I know, there is NO way on God's green earth I could have begun to do what he's done, be where all he has been, gave all he has given and still be up and walking.

Garth is tired. Realize that. The man is human. As much as we all like to think he is superhuman. He is not. Garth has issues to deal with. He has a family who has shared him openly with us all for ten years now. He has little girls who have grown up traveling the world so he could bring us the music. He has a wife who has put herself in the background for him to shine in the spotlight. He has brothers and a sister who are for the first time in their lives living day to day without their Mom. He has a Dad who is hurting tremendously and trying to carry on without the love of his life. How much more do we expect them all to give us?

Time is a gift that only comes from God. It is not easily regained once it is lost...if it can ever be recaptured at all. They, all, each of them, need TIME.

I guess all that is leading me to my answer. Ever since he appeared on Crook and Chase, I've gotten countless emails, been asked countless times, "What do you think, how do you feel about him retiring?" I've not answered. I wanted to find the right way to respond. My opinion seemed at times to go against the grain. My answer was not an easy one to understand I know, because coming from me, it was hard for myself to even grasp.

How do I feel? Let me see. If I had to sum it up in one word, I feel comforted. There is someone watching over Garth. I know that and I believe that with all my heart. He is going to be just fine. He will find the right path that he is meant to walk.

When I talked to Garth after Crook and Chase, there was no need to bring up what he mentioned on the show. Garth, my friends, myself, and the other wonderful fans who were there, we all carried on as usual. Garth was simply Garth. That will not ever change. Wherever he goes, whatever the choices are that he makes in the future, Garth is still going to just be Garth.

People worry about not seeing Garth, him not being around or being accessible. I can only offer you this one thought. I pray you take it to heart. It comes from experience. It comes from my own belief in that man.

The length of time between when you saw Garth last and when you see Garth again is irrelevant. If you carry him in your heart, he is never gone, he is always with you. When you see him again, it's as easy, as relaxed, as sweet as it was the last time. The time between vanishes away and you just pick up where you left off. Much like you do with a friend you've not seen in a while. You see each other, your eyes meet and you smile, you laugh, you joke, you hug, you talk, sometimes, you may even share a tear. Those times...those times are what matter. NOT the times in between.

Those are the times that will come again. Garth just needs, deserves, whatever way you want to say it...time. Giving him that time does not mean we won't miss seeing him around. It doesn't mean we won't crave a concert or live one on one meeting. Giving him that time does not mean we don't support the music or him. It means exactly the opposite. Giving him that time may well be the greatest gift we can give to him right now.

Now, with all that said, I will take the time to wish you all a wonderful Happy New Year spent with the ones you love. I know I will be with my family celebrating in our own quiet special way. I know my heart will also be with some people I've come to love as family. They are my closest friends, brought into my life by way of the music. They are truly one of my greatest gifts. A part of me will be ringing in the New Millennium in a very special place....a place where dreams and reality come together, a place of comfort to my soul. I know my heart will be with a family who will ring in the New Year without their Mom. They have my deepest prayers for acceptance and peace.

To all of you, I wish happiness and peace. Thanks for reading my thoughts over the past few years. Thanks for taking them with a grain of salt and for what they are....just one country girl's outlook on life. Thanks for never taking me too seriously and for the laughter. Thanks for the smiles and the tears and the always sweet emails you've shared with me. Thanks for everything.

I'm not sure when I will be writing again. I'm pretty much just writing the columns now on an impulse basis. Brandon has been totally supportive and so sweet to me in allowing me to continue the columns as my schedule allows. I realize this may not generate as much interest as a regular monthly column. For now, its what is best for me and my family. It's that "time" thing. Lately...I've came to realize just how precious time is. Once its gone, its gone. Please continue to be patient with me. As the old saying goes, God isn't finished with me yet. I still need some work and fine tuning.

Lastly, please pause and take the time to hug your children. Tell them how much you love them and what they mean to you. Take time for you and your spouse or special someone. Let them know, make them feel, your love and commitment. Love them like there is no tomorrow. Let your parents know how grateful you are to them for the life they gave to you. Tell them how much their love meant to you and how it shaped you as a child growing to adulthood. Make sure there's not a day goes by that you do not take the time to just let them know they are in your thoughts. Call up an old friend you haven't spoken to in a while. Tell them you love them and why. Laugh about the memories you share. Plan times for the future and work to make them happen. Take the time to smile at a stranger and say "hello." You may be the only personal contact they have all day. Finally...learn to be good to yourself. God put you here for a reason. Don't let your days go by wasted.

Remember Garth right now. Remember that it had to be hard for him to make that comment on Crook and Chase. He's gotten so much backlash already to deal with. He was taking a chance. One of the most risky to date. Remember that he is a man who right now is searching himself for direction. Be patient with him. Trust his judgment to do what is best for himself and his family. Garth needs the fans more than ever. It's just in a different way than before. He is not shutting us out. He is asking for our support. It's up to us as individuals whether we care enough to give it to him or not.

God bless you all in the coming Millennium.

Teresa Morris