Another year has passed us by. I look back with a heavy and glad heart. I can't believe the changes we've experienced. As a Mama, watching my little girls grow, as a wife, sharing another year with my soul mate, as a woman, finding out more about myself, as a friend, connecting to others who've affected my life, and as a Garthnutt...cherishing each day of 1998.

The year brought me many sweet times. It was the year I returned to the tour after my Garth Drought of 1997. I saw a lot of shows and went to a lot of places. I meet many new friends, I reconnected with old ones. It gave me my first floor seat. It gave me a wonderful view from third row. It gave me the chance to see Mama Brooks out there smiling and enjoying the people. It gave me the chance to hear the music via cellular phones when my heart was there...but my body was here. It gave me a chance to share the music with my family in a wonderfully happy time and space called Garthville. It took me to Tampa to say my final good-byes to the tour. It gave me my first kiss from stage. Hey Garth...I got cookies...you got kiss? It made a cookie recipe a much sought after item. It gave me a chance to finally meet up with Judy who lives to shock and surprise me. It honored me with a lot of love and compassion from those who take the time to read my thoughts put to words. It celebrated the music and the magic with me as it never had before. It gave me a chance to participate in a group project that honors Garth in a way that truly reflects how others feel about him. Hang in there Garth...its only twelve more days till Christmas. I hear if you're a good boy...you'll get your gift then! I do have to admit, I'll walk around Christmas Day smiling like the cat that ate the canary picturing Garth smiling from ear to ear. The year of 1998 was indeed a very good Garth year.

Now, I have to say that without certain people, Garthwise, this year would not have been what it was. The tour is over. Stillwater was a dynamic force behind Garth. Not just this year, but all the years before. To all of you who gave so much of your time, so much of yourselves...thank you. I think back on concerts with "Wild Man" Mike Palmer, "Tickle Me Ivories" Dave Gant, and "Bad Boy" James Garver. I think about a look from Steve McClure and a laid back grin that will knock your socks off from Mark Greenwood. And, of course, who could ever forget Mr. "WOOHOO" Jimmy Mattingly?

I hope you all know, that when we came to see Garth...we also came to see Stillwater! The show just would never be the same without you. We've come to look for your smiles, your actions. We know what signs get a grin out of you...the ways to make you fall over laughing. You celebrated the music with us as we danced to "Two Pina Coladas" and as we toasted our "Friends In Low Places." You felt the passion as we swooned to "Shameless" and you could see our tears as we swayed and sang with "The Dance."

Stillwater, in my biased and admittedly so, opinion, is the best band in Country music. You all have that quality that allows you to relate to the audience. We play...you play. You play...we play. It was that give and take that made every show unique, every show special.

Outside of the stage, you were always accessible. So many of you came to know us. You came to know our names, our faces. Of course, when we show up as often as ya'll do...I guess that will happen! You knew the signs that seemed to follow you from venue to venue. You were always there for us fans. Ready for a hug, willing to sign an autograph. Just taking a few minutes to talk. It meant more than you'll ever know. You would spot us from stage, that look of recognition would take over...and you'd smile that smile. It was always a cool moment. You were always willing to help us out, to pass along a note, a flower, a gift. Garth chose a very special and unique group of people who were willing to accompany him on this ride. He chose well.

I have to say something here. It really touched my heart when we were in Tampa. On that last night, before the show, I spotted James Garver. I walked down to where he was. People had him signing autographs fast and furious. I waited. When I got to him, I didn't ask him to sign anything. I just hugged him and told him I wanted to thank him for this wonderful ride they had shared with us. He turned right around and thanked me...us...for being there for them. As expected, I had big ole tears in my eyes. I swear, I saw a hint of a tear in his eyes too. It really summed up the way the fans feel about Stillwater. Thanks James...for that and countless other memories.

I can honestly say I'm going to miss Stillwater as much as I'm going to miss the music and Garth during this break. I know some of you really have had some hard times over the past three years. You've dealt with them with grace while trying to still make the performances happen. It spoke volumes about your character and dedication. Dave Gant, your Dad would truly be proud.

So to Stillwater, I have to say...God bless you all. I hope you and yours have the best Christmas ever. I hope all your dreams and wishes for the New Year come true. Enjoy the days ahead...relax. You deserve it!

Now there is another piece of this puzzle that is leaving us. "The Believer Magazine" has been a staple of information for many. For those especially without Internet access, it was the only reliable source of information they had. I made my weekly phone call last week to them. I was told that the last issue had just went to print. My response was, "I don't want to know...don't tell me!" For once, I don't mind being the last known person on the face of the earth to receive their "Believer."

I have spoken to those ladies at that office on a regular basis for longer than my phone bills care to remember. Joyce has become more of a friend than just some person who answers a phone. I'll miss them all. But, her, most of all. She's listened to me a lot over the years. She's been a sounding board, a source of information, and above all...she's listened to my opinions and concerns.

"The Believer" has been something I've looked forward to every few months. It's been a great gift to share with other fans. I am proud to say I have every issue, separated by page, in protectors, in notebooks. Knowing the last issue is on its way...I took them out to look at them the other day. I had to smile at the photos in them. Photos we don't get the opportunity to see in other publications. Those personal family moments that are shared with us. Those all too rare notes from Garth or Sandy. They are such treasures now.

It's with a lot of anticipation...but also some sadness that I await the last issue of "The Believer." I know I only have a few more chances to dial that number and hear those pleasant voices as I ask, "Okay, what's up this week?"

Tami, Joyce, Ruth, Sue, and to all those who've worked with you in the past, I say a very heartfelt thank you. You've always been there for me. Whatever my question, or whatever my concern...I knew I could trust you with what I had to share. I will miss ya'll more than you know. It will take me a while to not walk to my phone, as if on automatic reflex and dial that number on Mondays.

I can truly say you've been a sweet part of my life. I've called you at times to share happiness and at times to share sadness. But, always, I was comfortable in trusting you with my thoughts. God bless you all. Thanks for the work you've done and for being there for us fans. I hope the times ahead for all of you are full of love, laughter and joy. Tami, you and Payton enjoy that precious little boy! These are such beautiful years when you have a child to fill your days.

Another thing that will be missed is GB Management. The people there from Scott Stem to Karen Byrd to Joan Cook have always been sweet, helpful, and considerate. If there was ever a question that needed answering or a concern that needed to be voiced, a fan was always made to feel welcome and that their opinion mattered. It speaks loudly about the type of people that Garth has in his organization when they make and take time for the fans. Kelly Brooks and Mickey Weber have such a huge amount of responsibility. They always carry it off with seemingly easy effort. I wouldn't want to do what either of them has to do in a million years. Still, like everyone else, they are and always have been accessible. They take the time to talk to the fans, to get to know names and faces. It means so much. It always has. None of you are just "business" people to us. You are just another part of what makes up the music.

I hope you all take this time off and do something just for you! Enjoy your families, your friends. God bless you for always taking care of Garth. I hope each new day brings new possibilities and much fulfillment to your life.

The crew...the ones who make things happen. From the lighting, to the confetti, to the streamers, to the sound, to the safety. They are always on top of things and ready at a moments notice to make it work. Watching you guys is a feat in and of itself. To anyone who ever went to a Garth show, I hope they took the time to observe. None of you are ever still. You are always moving. Checking this, straightening that. I know without what each of you do...there would have been no shows. John McBride, Dave Butzler and Brian Petree...you three are on top of the game!

Like everyone else associated with the music of Garth Brooks...the crew was still accessible. Granted, some people probably drove you guys crazy asking if you were the "Ticket Man." HA! But, still, it had to have its perks. Maybe someday, folks will understand, that the "Ticket Man" doesn't get found...he finds you.

Regardless of those who repeatedly asked for something, you never seemed to develop that sense of distrust. You were always friendly when approached. Sometimes, people just wanted to say thanks, to give you a gift for what you do, or to ask a question. You came to know our faces and names too. You'd watch us from the floor or from beneath the stage as we got taken away to that magical place the music takes us to. You'd spotlight our signs as we played with Garth and Stillwater from our seats. You held that ladder as Garth climbed to the ceiling and your steadied that rope as the Nutt swung out over the crowd.

To all of you who took time away from your homes and your families...thanks for giving that time to us. Every show was nothing short of magical. Every show was a dream come true. God bless each of you with happiness and good things in the days to come.

Then, there are those who drove the countless miles to make sure Garth, Stillwater, and crew got to where they needed to be. I've been blessed to meet some of those who drive the buses. Big Jim...I will never forget the way you towered above Mama Brooks in Memphis, watching over her as she walked into the crowd...if you never had a piece of my heart...you got one then. Curly, what can I say? Thanks for Tampa! It was an opportunity of a lifetime and one I will always cherish. You're a sweetheart of a man and I know God will open many doors for you.

I will never be able to comprehend how any of you drive the miles you do and keep your sanity. I can't begin to tell you the times I've sit here and watched the weather channel and thought about what you may be driving into. I've prayed many times for your safety as well as the safety of those you carry on the bus. I trust that each of you, who carry those we've come to love like our own families, have an angel riding on your shoulders. God bless you for the times you've taken them where they need to go...and for doing it safely. God bless your families for giving up time with you so you can help bring the music to us.

There are so many people who I could keep giving Christmas wishes too. But, it just seemed important to go ahead and let these people know they are in my hearts during this holiday season. These people, many of them, don't know me, some never will. But, even though they were just doing their jobs, they did it in a way that made my life a little more special.

Still, there are some very special people who need their own special Christmas wish. I don't think my heart has found those words just yet. I need to go sit by my tree, turn off the lights, put in "Beyond The Season" and reflect a bit more before I can put into words what needs to be said to Garth, Sandy, Taylor, August and Allie. There's a special couple out in Oklahoma who have captured such a big part of my heart. The words for them...I haven't found just yet either. It's going to take some more time before I can find the way to say a proper "Merry Christmas" to them.

There is still a present in my heart that doesn't understand how to give of itself. As the nearness of Christmas approaches it will find a way. It will find the words and as it does, I will share it with you.

For now, Happy Holidays to all. Cherish these days leading up to the most special loving time of the year. Remember...within your heart lies the sweetest gifts of all.