What a month October brought to us. Or should I say Garthtober? It started
with a visit
to the Grand Ole Opry for the celebration of 75 years as the home of Country
music. It enthralled us
with a press conference that answered many questions we all already knew the
answers to in our hearts. It will be remembered as ending with the night that
Garth reached
a milestone of 100 million sales.
I cannot really begin to explain the many varied emotions that this month has
given me.
Ultimately, today, I sit here happy and satisfied that Garth is where his
heart is. That is
truly the sweetest place any of us can be.
The Grand Ole Opry allowed me to seek a little revenge on some unsuspecting
friends.
Judy Humphrey and I cooked up a plan to get her smuggled into Nashville for
Opry
weekend. Karen Duran agreed to be the transportation that would enable Judy
to quietly
slip into town. When it was announced Garth would be at the Opry, I knew I
had to be
there. With the goodness of a Garthangel, who is truly a gift in my life, I
was able to attend
the Friday early show as well as the Saturday early show.
I had said early on when asked what I thought Garth would sing at the shows
that it really
didn’t matter to me. I couldn't care less if he stood there and sang “Row
Row Row Your
Boat" just as long as I could close my eyes, picture him laughing, smiling,
eyes twinkling
and truly feeling the music from his heart.
Thank God, when Garth took the stage for that first show Friday night, I was
given that
gift. As I watched him from the cramped position on the hardwood floor of
the Opry I
closed my eyes for a moment. When they opened, I saw in him what I had hoped
to see. He
was relaxed. He had the people, his people, in the palm of his hand once
again.
Immediately after the first show, Jason, Judy, Karen and I went to the Guard
Shack. We,
along with another couple were the first six people to form a line. I had a
few hopes in
mind and I was blessed to watch them become reality. Sadly, I came away from
that night
also very disappointed in the actions of some who stood there.
My dear friend Judy has held onto a special gift for Garth for many years.
So many years
in fact, that up until 1992 she had no idea it would belong to him. After
seeing her first
show in October 1992, she knew why she had held onto this piece of her past.
She'd done
so to share it with a gift from her future.
Judy has spoken to Garth on a number of occasions but that face to face
meeting had
eluded her. October 13, 2000, put an end to that wait. I stood in that
crowd at the Guard
Shack and watched with intense satisfaction as Judy stood before Garth and
placed her
gift into the hands it belonged in all along. As she turned to me, she
pointed and told
Garth I was there in the crowd and I took a picture that I had long hoped to
someday take.
My friend, my “sister of the heart" that Garth brought into my life,
standing in his arms.
Garth called out, “Sweetheart, how are you?" and flashed that killer smile.
I just grinned
and said, “I'll be MUCH better when I’m over there!" and pointed to his
arms. He
giggled that mischievous giggle as he turned back to talk to Judy.
As I waited in the crowd that had grew to gigantic proportions I was shocked.
After all
these years, it is the first and I hope last time, that I am ever in a crowd
like that again.
The push from the back of the crowd to the front was so intense you literally
could not
raise your arms up to take a picture. People were hollering and shoving.
Garth, ever the
saint, just kept on keeping on. Nobody could move. People from the back were
furious
with the people in the front because they felt they didn’t take their turn
and move on.
Truth was, until security stepped in and formed an outlet, it was hard to
move out of the
way. For every step you tried to move away, you were met with shoves to go
forward. It
was a no win situation. As much as security can be a hassle, I for one, am
grateful that
they stepped in and created that outlet and tried to make sure that once you
spoke with
Garth, you were sent out of the crowd.
One thing that bothered me was the shoving. Like I said, we were one of the
first six
people out at the Shack. More walked up as the second show was going on.
But, after the
second show, the crowd grew to epic proportions in a very short time. People
came to
the front of the line instead of waiting in back as they rightly should have.
People flooded
the street creating problems for the passing buses transporting Opry guests.
No one was
following the rules of “stay behind the barricades, stay out of the streets,
and we’re all
fine." In the past that is all that security has ever asked of us and its
been a respectful
arrangement that has served everyone well.
When Garth walked up to the crowd, I felt a pressure that there was no
resisting. I was
shoved past the barricade cutting my leg on the stop sign. The crowd took a
sharp curve
to the right where Garth was standing and the shouting and pushing match
began. One girl
standing next to me really concerned me. I don’t know her but I do know I
felt so sorry
for her and was and still am concerned about her. She was shoved sideways
onto the
barricade with her back arched into it. She could not move her legs. She
could not move
her arms. She was penned against it with the edges digging into her back.
At one point, I
was scared she was going to faint. I finally shouted out for everyone to
stop shoving that
they had someone penned against the barricade who was hurt. Garth saw what
was going
on and reached out to her to help her back into a more comfortable position.
Thank God,
for all her trouble, she did get to talk to Garth.
Garth finally turned to me and I went into his arms for a hug and kiss. I
had him a little
bag of goodies to remind him of something special. It was a Bubblegum Kids
Cool Dude
bag. (He reminds me of Chris Gaines!) Inside the bag were sticks, matches,
marshmallows, and a ceramic hot dog and bun. Along with those perplexing
goodies,
there was a small glass container filled with my home State’s Alabama clay
and Alabama
cotton. On the outside of the glass container was a little note, “Alabama
Clay, Alabama
Cotton, times with you, are never forgotten." Garth’s eyes twinkled and
that sly smile
came across his face as we talked about the goodies in the bag. What’s it
for? Hey, a girl
can’t give away all her secrets you know! Just say its for one of my “one of
these days"
dreams. Garth knew exactly what it was and just knowing it made him smile
was enough
for me. We spoke for a minute about some things, then, another hug and kiss,
a picture
taken in each others arms, and I moved on.
I walked away with a very full heart as I always do when I see him. I also
walked away
praying to God he saw past all the shoving and shouting and only saw the love
that the
people were trying to give him.
When I got to the back of the crowd, I realized for the first time just how
many people
were standing there. No wonder it was so cramped and uncomfortable in the
crowd.
Sadly, I watched as people avoided moving on after their turn. There were so
many there,
so many hearts left untouched. I took a long hard look at myself. I think I
made the
conscious decision then in my heart, that I would not wait for him the next
night. I had
my time, it was time to let someone else have theirs.
Saturday I was able to do something that didn’t necessarily have to do with
Garth. Along
with Judy, Karen and Jason, I went on the backstage tour of the Opry. I had
dreamed many
times of being “backstage" where it all happens. More than that, it was the
legends that
were filling my mind. Miss Minnie, Hank Williams, Sr., and so many more.
They had all
stood on that circle. They had all stood on that hardwood circle and sang to
countless
faces. They had all looked out at the faces who understood their music and
their way of
life. That circle holds as many endless memories for as many people than can
be imagined.
Legends have stood on that circle. We’ve lost many who will never stand on
that circle
again, but their memory is as much a part of that circle as the cracks in the
wood.
As we got closer to the circle on the Opry stage, I felt a reverence and
respect that didn’t
surprise me but overwhelmed me. I took my place on that circle and I felt a
magic that is
almost undescribable. My mind flashed on all those who have stood on that
circle and
brought Country Music to us over the years. Then, I closed my eyes and in my
mind, I
pictured Garth, standing there on that circle. He’s spoken so many times of
what the
institution of the Opry means to him. I stood there, took a deep breath and
pictured what
he must see when he stands there. Tried to imagine what he must feel when he
stands
there. The tears started to flow. I was honored. I was so honored to be
able, for one
minute, to be worthy enough to stand on that circle.
Garth always seems to worry about the example he sets for us. I can tell him
now, after
standing on that circle on the Grand Ole Opry stage, the respect, the honor,
the reverence
of the Opry is deeply engraved in my heart. Truth be told, if Garth had not
played the
Opry anniversary weekend, I would have not been there. Because of Garth,
again, I was
given a blessing that I did not deserve. I will always treasure the moment
that I, just a
plain ole country girl with big dreams, was able to stand in the same spot as
many of the
people who have shaped who and what I am including Garth.
By the time the Saturday early show rolled around, fatigue was setting in.
My feet hurt.
My back hurt. My whole body hurt. My mind was torn with so many emotions and
feelings that I wasn’t prepared for. When I get tired, when I get
overwhelmed, I cry. It’s
one of the few things in my life I do well. I’m a damn good cryer.
We stood by the beloved garbage can by the Opry stage during the Saturday
show. I
didn’t sit on the floor to get closer to the stage. I’d done that the night
before. Besides my
legs killing me, I’d take up a space on the floor that someone else may never
had
experienced. This was a weekend to give, not necessarily take. I was
content to stand on
the side and watch Garth take the stage as his people greeted him with
cheers, smiles and
open hearts.
Once again, I got my dream. I closed my eyes and what I pictured in my mind
was real.
Garth was happy. Garth was smiling. Garth was relaxed and enjoying being
where he was,
doing what he was doing.
I didn’t get to hear Garth sing “my" song Opry weekend. I like to believe
that God has
His reasons. For whatever reasons, be it fate, coincidence, or simply just
the way it was,
Garth didn’t sing “The Dance" at either show I attended. Someone asked me
if that
bothered me after the Saturday show. I just had to look at them through
falling tears and
answer them as honestly as I could.
Garth sings “The Dance" to me every day of my life. All I have to do to
hear it is close
my eyes and remember all the times that are now gone by. Everytime I hear
that song on
the radio it’s as pure to me as the first time I heard it that lonely night
long ago.
Everytime I drive along life’s roads listening to a CD and the song comes on,
I am taken
somewhere else in my mind. Somewhere were hurt doesn’t matter and time takes
away all
pain. Everytime I watch a video and see his face as he begins to sing that
song, I just stop.
For that time, I am totally immersed in the music, the message and the
messenger.
My only regret for not being able to hear Garth sing “The Dance" at the Opry
anniversary
weekend, was not that I didn’t hear it. It is that I didn’t get to watch his
face as he sang
the words that will forever speak to this heart.
We walked around to say good-bye to some people before we headed to our “Blue
Rose"
Expedition. I hate the good-byes. Its the hardest parts of these trips. As
much as I love
seeing Garth and him bringing me to these moments, I treasure and cherish
this time with
my friends. Mentally, physically and emotionally, I was nearing exhaustion.
Walking
away from the Opry building I knew I was also walking away from Garth.
Trying very
hard to ask God for guidance and acceptance of what would come in the
following days,
my cell phone rang.
My girls had called me repeatedly since we left them with their friend Katie
on Friday
morning. I saw the number on the caller ID and I admit, I felt like "what
now!?" My baby
girl, my Lindsey says "Hello Mama." She told me they’d just got home from
cheering and
that their team had lost. Then she told me something that stopped me in my
tracks.
Literally in the middle of the street. I was already crying and trying really
hard to hide that
on the phone. Lindsey in her innocent childlike voice tells me the real
reason she just had
to call me again.
Coming home from the ballgame, she said she looked up and she saw a beautiful
purple
sky and she wanted to call me to tell me she thought of me when she saw it.
Only God
above knows what a gift that was to me at that moment and always will be. As
I choked
back tears that were quickly becoming sobs, I told my little girl how much I
loved her and
thanked her for calling to tell me about the purple sky.
I knew then that I was going to be okay. Garth was going to be okay. We were
all going
to be okay. My heart felt a little lighter and my smile became a little
brighter. Garth
needed to find the place where his heart belonged. He deserved to hold that
place tight
and cherish it as I just had that phone call from my daughter Lindsey.
After a trip up to the gate in the quiet of the night, we went to get some
sleep. Where
sleep hadn’t come for the past two nights, it enveloped me Saturday night. I
fell asleep
with a peaceful assurance that I hadn’t given up seeing Garth at the last
show of the Opry
weekend. I just traded it for a purple sky and a gentle nudge from above
about what was
really important in our lives.
Sunday brought more good-byes and more tears. Try as hard as I might, I will
never be
good at good-byes. I will never be one who has the strength to do it
gracefully. But, as
Nashville grew dim in our rear view mirror I counted blessings, not regrets.
Teresa Morris
